Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Home Again

I arrived in Las Vegas in November o8. Originally, I came to help my sister with the business and to keep myself busy. It worked for a while but eventually that which I was running from caught up with me and landed me here. :) Well it's time to go back and face that which I ran from all those months ago.

In August it will be a year since Aaron's death. His things are still hanging in the closet his tools in the garage. Our matching helmets for the motorcycle neatly on the shelf. It was just so hard to put those things in boxes, seemed so final. Even now, just thinking about it gives me a shiver. Family and friends have asked if they could do it for me and my answer is always the same " No don't touch his things". Closure is a word that comes to mind, one that I never wanted to truly face. Which brings me back again to the reason I started writing. "HOW DO I SAY GOODBYE AND KEEP HIM ALIVE IN MY HEART!

Writing has helped me, I know longer cry in the darkness. I have opened up my heart and our story to the world. There is now light where the darkness used to be. I pray that as I pack his things or give them away to the shelter. (which is something he would want) That I'll loose the pain. That the closure will be about letting go everything that hurts, and not about letting go all that we shared that was and is still good.



The *Lovely* 5FF said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, but at least you're expressing it in a constructive and positive way. Keep writing, girl. Writing is my first love, too.

ATs Lady said...

It means a lot when other's encourage me to write. Thank you so much